Adieu 2011.. Things i learnt from You..

Its been a bitter sweet year, more bitter than sweet. But as every year goes by you grow wiser and I'm no different. This year has made me learn a lot of things, a few of them the hard way.

-> dear can move to a land of no return when you least expect it to happen. So cherish their company while they are there.

-> Never believe your superior, no matter how convincing they sound, until you have seen the results.

-> If you have something on your mind, say it out, rather than let it stay in you and mutilate your mind.

-> Not everyone is interested in helping you in your troubles. Some are just curious(straight from a SMS).

-> If you did something you always wanted to do, but didn't end up well, have no regrets. Atleast you gave it a try.

-> Being physically fit and staying fit actually makes you feel good, even if it required a lot of effort.
-> Learn to say "NO". A "YES" doesn't sound nice every time.

-> When you cook you realise the amount of effort mom puts in every dish.

-> Its good to have many friends, but sometimes all you need is sometime with yourself.


So goodbye 2011.. Roll in 2012..

A Hundred Posts

(This isn't the hundredth post.. this is actually the 102nd post)

I just noticed the fact that I've posted around 100 times in here till now. Starting March '07 to August '11. That makes it an commendable average of 25 posts per year. Deserves a pat :D
Though a few of them are utterly rubbish, like venting my frustrations and talking of what i did (like this one) and blah blah blah, there are many which I well and truly like. Some of them are very heartfelt. I don’t have many people watching this space. But I'm thankful to the bunch who do and appreciate or criticize (haven’t got much of it though) the effort. Thanks ppl.

The Dreamer's Misfortune

The time is 3 A.M AND I'm lying in my bed with my eyes open, starting at the ceiling with a blank look on my face. It’s cold and a weather in which people would like to pull their blankets up to their ears and snuggle back to sleep. But I’m just not able to. The dreamer’s misfortune.

It happens all the time. While I’m travelling, sleeping, working or maybe sitting plain jobless. Words, phrases, snippets, verses, sentences sometimes whole ideas come flooding into the mind. A cacophony, humming and buzzing in the ear, like a pesky mosquito that just won’t leave. All it wants is just a place to rest in my ear and hope they can make it to my brain in due time. And the problem is that I just can’t let them go or block it out. I love it when it strikes me like a sudden inspiration. A bolt from the blue. I love to note it down from time to time on whatever I can get my hands on. These days, thanks to my mobile phone, I just put them into the memos and save it and come back to it later. Some of them make it here as blog posts, some into the blog drafts some will still be there in my mobile and a few unfortunate ones will be lost in the folds of my brain and might rear up its head again later. I don’t know if this particular phenomenon/situation/scenario has a name but let's see if it hits me.

Though I like it, it becomes most inconvenient when it strikes in the middle of the night. After a tiring day when all you want to do is sleep and it wakes you up in the middle of the night. It’s like the mind receives an S.M.S. "1 idea received" and the menu shows "read" and "cancel". Try as hard as I may, I just can’t press the "cancel" button. And then starts the flood of SMS’s (read ideas) which won’t let you sleep. It might be the influence of the latest movie you saw or might be the song you were crooning all day or a discussion with a friend or something that was in the papers or might even be something totally disconnected like a blast from the past. And then the mind will put on wings and take you out for a flight of fantasy. It might think up a storyline which can be made into a beautiful movie and then gives way to a very well thought out plan that will be swiftly replaced by something else. It’s a self-minded cycle and it just won’t let me sleep. But one thing it does is that it takes the mind away from the hideous reality, even for a moment, and puts in its place a, let’s say, pauper-to-price story. And on rare occasions, some incidents take you to another part of your dream which is actually real, and it's so vivid that it is better than you can fantasize or dream of. It's the moments like these that you live for. And hope that they keep coming to you from time to time… Because it gives a new perspective to a lot of things around… Because they make me feel alive…

They come... They go... And they come again... And the cycle repeats... Sometimes all I want to do is shout at it to stop. But I won’t... I just can't... :)

Facebook Turnoffs.. My two cents

This post has spent a lot of time in the depths of my saved drafts in Blogspot. After being urged by someone to post, I'm finally putting up my 2 cents.

Lately I've been spending less time on everybody's "favorite"(easier to say in trend, but leave) social networking site, Facebook(FB). Its not like i don't log in. Its just limited. I need my dose of connectivity. Nowadays when I open FB and check out the news feed there are a lot of things that get my attention. Some in a good way, others not so. The other ones, of course, are the ones I'm talking about here. I might be cliched to say about how people should and should not post on FB. But there are a few trends that really put me off on FB these days.

Let me start with people liking their own status updates, videos, photos, comments and the list goes on. One question - So did you hate it before you posted it and then realization dawned on you that you like it after posting? Come on. Liking something you have posted yourself is like Hi Five-ing yourself in public.

Photos. Is Facebook a social networking site or photo sharing site? It confusing seeing the amount of pics people put in a single album. You got Picasa or Flickr (and countless others) for that. The endless stream of (sometimes useless) photos, at times of the same thing, is mind numbing to say the least. Keep it uncluttered. Otherwise if you want to make people jealous, well, go on. And in profile pics don't put a thank you for each and every comment. We know you are happy about our comments and grateful. But a simple "Thank you all" and its variations will do.

Groups. I've lost count of the number of times I had to remove myself from groups I've been added to and forced to read the N number of notification from them. Your likes are yours and not necessarily of others. Don’t force it on others unless you are absolutely sure that they would like it. If not send a link and let the other person decide if he/she wants to take the drop or not.

If you got anything private to discuss take it off Facebook walls. Call the person up or get on chat and discuss. Or at least use the Facebook "privacy" settings (they are there for a reason) and keep it between those who know of it.(TBH I’ve made this mistake myself) And talking of walls, it isn’t there for Graffiti. DoNt TyPe LiKe ThIs, BeCaUsE iF yOu Do, YoU rEaLlY sOuNd lIkE aN iDiOt Or GoT a NuT LoOsE Up ThErE.

The box for status messages says "What's on your mind?" and not "What you are doing now, now and now and now again and finally Now?". No one is that curious. But if you want your stalkers to get bored and leave you in peace then, carry on with it.

Add me.. Add me.. Farmville.. Cityville... Send me.. Send me.. this that.. this that. Stop. They might as well add you to Loonsville and send you a straight jacket.

Your name is part of your identity. It gets real difficult people to find you on FB if you keep customizing your name now and then. Keep the real one. Not the one you would like to be known with.

It's complicated. Ya? really? If its so damn complicated, then how about logging out and fixing it and then coming back and reverting to "Single" or "In a relationship" or just hiding it altogether. Sounds better, sounds simpler.

Tagging. Good thing about FB which is spoiled by using where not necessary and not applicable. I wont go on much about this.

Cant understand why people still keep sending gifts on Facebook using applications. Thanks but how about sending me something in real life? How about that hug you sent when I really need one in real life?

Stop clicking on anything that says "click me", "watch me" blah blah blah. It’s spam. It might or might not give you a headache but it definitely gives others an headache.

One think I totally dislike about FB is that there is no dislike link. It’s like Dictatorship. Either like or keep quiet.

Remember one thing. You are in a public network. Use your common sense. Post sense.

Though not original, those were my 2 cents.

Disclaimer: These are my views. You might agree with a few and protest against a few. If you like it thanks.

@Crossroads

If you notice the change in the "Blog Title" then good on you :)

I stated this blog way back in the summer of '07 just out of interest. At that point of time i had no idea what to do with it or how to make it better. As time went on it found it very liberating to pen down what I've been through or sharing random thoughts. The title "Impossible is Nothing" just happened. It got stuck in my head from the Famous Adidas ad at that time and I've never thought of changing it. Well at least until now.

Why the change?
If to name the reason for the change I've got none other than the fact that it feel too cliched and being with it for so long it just begged for a change. Its been 4 years and that was the only thing(well other than the one who posts) that hadn't changed since I started.

why @ Crossroads?
Well just cos we are always there. @Crossroads. The dictionary defines a crossroad as a point where a decision must be made. We are always taking making a decision. Good, Bad. Black, White. Yes, No. Whatever the situation be we always have a choice. Some of the posts here are my choices, decisions, opinions and those, differ from person to person. Its like I'm at a crossroad and I decide to take a left when others might take a right. But that's choice. So @Crossroads :)

A few things...

Life has given me my share of ups and downs. And is still making me ride it like a sine wave. But along the way it has taught me few valuable lessons too. Here go a few...

-> If you’re smiling right now, you’re doing something right.

-> It’s not so much what you say that counts, it’ how you make people feel.

-> The biggest mistake you can make is doing nothing because you’re scared to make a mistake.

-> No matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be. Either you succeed or you learn something. Win-Win.

-> Freedom is the greatest gift. Self-sufficiency is the greatest freedom.

-> If you catch yourself working hard and loving every minute of it, don’t stop. You’re on to something big. Because hard work ain’t hard when you concentrate on your passions.

-> It’s not about getting a chance, it’s about taking a chance. You’ll rarely be 100% sure it will work. But you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work. Sometimes you just have to go for it!

-> Complaining is like slapping yourself for slapping yourself. It doesn’t solve the problem, it just hurts you more.

-> The one with nothing to hide is always the one left standing tall.

-> You can press forward long after you can’t. It’s just a matter of wanting it bad enough.

-> There’s a big difference between knowing and doing. Knowledge is basically useless without action.

-> In work and business, when they need you more than you need them, you have succeeded.

-> Everything that happens in life is neither good nor bad. It just depends on your perspective.

-> We are all weird. And life is weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we call it love.

-> True friendship and true love do sustain the tests of distance and time.

-> You can’t change who you are. You can only change what you know and how you apply this knowledge.

-> It is okay to be angry. It is never okay to be cruel.

-> Even when you feel like you have nothing, someone else likely has far less. Find them and help them. You’ll see why.

-> Having a thousand credentials on the wall will not make you a decent human being. But genuinely helping one person everyday will.

-> There’s a big difference between knowing and doing. Knowledge is basically useless without action.

-> You can’t change who you are. You can only change what you know and how you apply this knowledge.

-> Having a 1000 friends is good. But find out that one person who will stand by you when you are in need.

-> Change happens for a reason. Roll with it. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.

Remember.. Everything that happens in life is neither good nor bad. It just depends on your perspective. :)

Pointless

yeah... and so? what's the point? what am i trying to say? where is all this heading anyway? what would be the final outcome? i don't know.. but then does anyone actually know? The whole point i think right now is being pointless. Everyone around is only trying to prove their point. Now i wanna say that i don't wanna make any point at all. Well is that a point too? Maybe it is. I don't know. There's so much that i don't know. So much that i want to know. No i'm not curious. I just wanna learn...and unlearn...till every point collides, and every figure resembles the other, and every one looks like everyone else, or at least realize that stripped out of our externals we are all the same. Then why draw so many lines? So many boundaries? So many ways of discriminating? Bveryone is fighting for identity. But what is it-this whole war to assert identities. First you are not given any subjectivity that's why you fight. Then you realize you need to speak for yourself, that's why you fight...and then you realize that "YOU" has power and not everyone can be "YOU" and that's why you define "YOU", narrow it down and fight again and it goes on. Don't we need to transcend these definitions and identities? Do we care? Is it helping anyway? Fighting for identities forever? Whose identities? When do we stop? Who are the winners? Who are the losers? Do they even exist? Does anyone know? All of these questions may not be necessary. Maybe these are what they call POINTLESS...

A New Start

A New Year. A New Start. and a new post in my blog..
But before I get going into the new year I am wondering what I felt about the year that just passed. A lot of things happened(of course). But what would sum it up is, I've survived, I've lived, I've learnt, I've cared, I've loved, felt loved. Wondered till I was made to realize I didn't need to. Stared in the dark waiting for the first rays of sunlight. Learnt some lessons which i hope to remember. Lived and learnt, in my head and my heart. Still learning, always figuring it out new ways and means. Never knew what was right, probably because nothing is.

So yes, it's been an interesting year. A year which could have either been start all or end all.

I can't word it very well at the moment, but, I've met a lot of new people this year. To these people i saw thanks for you are the ones who've loved me, forgave me, surprised me, uplifted me, encouraged me. I even love some of you people who've made me feel like crap (for no fault of my own) and need to be clonked over the head, for you made me a better person.

Thank you. This is very heartfelt.

What I want for myself from next year is to screw up less. With myself and with other people. Be wiser. Face up for whatever I do. Never be in doubt. And make use of the constant reminder I've given myself now.

Darkness before the Light

It's been ages.. ages.. since I have written anything. Life has been so overwhelming that all my senses just shutdown for sometime. The last one month has been one THE best i've had.. The months before that were the darkest and the gloomiest. It resonates the feeling of darkness before the light. I was not committed to anything but one thing that always gets my full attention and kept me going are books. All those days of being lost in the imaginary world that the books engulfed the reader. Threading through an unknown land, running across the world to solve a mystery, the feelings of a lover. Totally lost to the world. A passion which i thought was dampened was given a spark again and to those books i owe my sanity.

Then suddenly a month ago i was given another chance. A new life, a new place and new people and i'm absolutely loving it. I'm a different person now, probably a better person. I had always decided to let go but kept a plan B, a life-raft, something to cling on and maybe that was my problem. This time as I had nothing to lose and everything to gain and I just let go. And what an experience. ITS JUST AMAZING. I feel so light inside. Nothing affects me these days and i think i've found my smile back. No more falsettos, no more fake smiles and definitely no more a brooding frame of mind. My calm is permanent. Love, joy and peace are my new keywords. I have realised the meaning of grace and am basking in it. :)

All i can say is that the year 2010 was not that good to me. But I'm still here. :) A bit wiser, a bit stronger and lot more happier :)
(this post was written on 2010 2010)

The Infy Chapter

A dream dashed.. Expectations crumbled.. Future in question.. and a lot more negatives.. End of the Chapter in Infosys..

For those who don't know yet I'm not a part of the great Infy family anymore. And for the most part of my stay there there was something inside which always asked "Do i actually belong here?". But in order to prove myself wrong i did try hard and for most part i was succeeding(if exams were taken out of the equation). But then disaster struck and i was asked to pack my stuff and move out. The dream ends.. End of Chapter..

There were quiet a few things i would miss from my days in Infy. Listed below in no particular order-

• The Campus - I challenge anyone to find a better campus anywhere.
• New friends - i have this habit of making friends everywhere i go and infy was no expecption. Some of them were so awesome that they understood me better than i did.. not naming anyone for the fear of missing out on some.. Thank you ppl.. u really made worthwhile for me..
• My own college friends - Can be said that Infy was one place where i understood my college friends better
• The badminton court - even with a broken ligament i played 12 games on an avg each day. It reignited the interest of badminton with me after 6 years. I hadn't played after my 10th.
  
• The gym - Used to wake up early every morning to visit this place. and i did lose quiet an amount of weight and put on some muscle.
• The routine - even though i didn't like the routine much it would be something i would remember.
  
• Gazebo - late night hangouts, birthday parties, gossip and what not.. This was the perfect place for almost everything in infy.. :)
• Foodcourts - Midnight parties and the place where all the fun is.
• GEC - the list is never complete without the mention of GEC.. that is where u study.. but mostly its where u do everything.. study, sleep, chat, do assignments, play pranks, chatting on email while the class is in progress..
• My room.. my tidily arranged room which u can say would be picture perfect in a 3 star hotel.. with a lcd tv and a comfortable bed.. :(
• Did i miss out anything?? if i did i'll add it when my memory pops it up :)
  

But as my friend said "the world outside is bigger than this 337 acres". and i had to agree with him. The campus being so big it was like a city out of a city. You get everything there that u gradually forget that the world outside the campus still exists. But all that is past now..

Now looking forward for a new challenge.. and that is in the form of TCS.. and guess i'll Experience Certainty..

Hasta La Vista 2k9

I type this as the clock ticks onto the final hours of the calender year. Let us all look back at how the year has been.. there might have been up's and down's, victories and failures, joy and despair and a lot of other emotions.. however good or bad the year was, it did leave us a bit more wiser, more experienced and with a lot of bitter-sweet memories.. Take a moment to recollect the good moments of the year and end the year on a happy note and welcome 2010 with open arms and lots of hope...

Sayonara 2k9, Swagatam 2010

A Surprise backfired.. But ended well..

Well ever experienced your plans to surprise some back firing on you and leaving you dumbfound and not knowing what to do? Well something similar happened to me and a group of friends who were planning to surprise a close friend of ours who was having his b'day.. being the kingpin of the plan i was almost left with a red face..

The friend was had come back from a class trip and was down with heavy fever. basically he robbed us of the opportunity to surprise him in college bus as well as in the college. We planned to meet up go to his house and surprise him at home. Everything was set. 3 of us brought a cake and a cold drink bottle and went to his house. We had called him on another pretext previously and he said he was at home was watching the cricket match between India and Sri Lanka and will be at home anytime. We reached his home, silently opened the gate, parked our vehicles, climbed the stair, stood outside the door of his house and silently removed our footwear and took our positions. Inside the TV was blaring the cricket commentary at full volume, the door was ajar.. We counted 1..2..3.. and burst in.. only to find aunty staring back at us wide eyed. Seeing her expression , i thought if she had not seen us before she might have shouted "thief thief". We were rooted to the place, some how managed to get back some composure to ask where he was gone and the reply was "Some of his friends had come, he has gone out with them for an Haircut."

We got down and were planning for our next move while aunty was calling him trying to somehow get him back home. While we were downstairs planning what to do next, the plans randing from dragging him from the hair saloon to putting a bucket of water on him the next morning, we heard a movement near the gate. We saw a group of people tiptoing in, and we realised that we werent the only fools thats day. :P Now the total number of fools had increased to 10 and we called him direclty and angrilly asked him to come back home. Usually in surprise b'day plans cake is a problem, but in this cake there were 3 cakes whereas the b'day boy was missing.. Nice irony.. Finally the gr8 man arrived and got a huge number of b'day bumps and finally we got him to his cake(s) and made him cut it, thus ending a surpise party which had began on an embarassing note on a high one(India lost the match that day though).

Though the actual plan backfired, the output was obtained.. :) reminds me to be extra careful when planning something next time.. ;)

States

Well lot has happened in the past few weeks which concerns states.

First one that created a lot of problems is the AP-Telengana issue. Some say that smaller states solves a lot of administrative problems as they are easier to govern and stuff.. I say it might lead to a lot of problems. Even in the current case of Telengana, one of the premier cities of India Hydrebad is thrown into turmoil and it might have to be turned into a Union teritory. And right after this was sancationed(almost), more ppl have jumped on the bandwagon wanting states for their own. Now maybe the next thing we hear is that a city wants to be split into 2(yeah, even that can happen). Maybe we might see Berlin Wall 2. Who knows.. maybe we'll have another India-Pak withing the country and maybe LOC's between all states.. This is India.. anything is possible... Again let me enquire with the rule makers.. "with the Telengana for the telegus and the gorkhaland for the goorkhas and so on, do you have an India for the Indians? or is the cultural, ethinic and linguistic diversity we are so proud of, gonna tear us apart? "

Secondly my mind is in a very jumbbled state. I just dont know what i want to do and what i dont want to do. I've just stopped putting my head into everything thought the urge to do so is very high. I've started to add sarcasm to anything related to college and none of it is funny. i just wanna jump out of there and get some of my otehr things in order cos i understand i'm going nowhere if i stay there.

Lastly i read 2 states. Good book ,definitely better than his previous novel 3 mistakes of life, 2 states has all the ingredients of a Chetan Bhagath novel. You have wit , humour , situations that bring out your emotions. It is a story of a boy and girl from 2 different states of India ie Punjab and Tamilnadu and how they want to get married but thier communites are against it and how they toil to solve eveything so that they can get married. In a way I think it’s Chetan’s best book I read till date right up there with 5 point someone(there are some references of that book in this, sort of like a sequel book to that one). I laughed ,got emo and empathised with the concept of Indianness. Having lived in both North and South i can vouce for a lot of those things that are said in the book. Sometimes its quiet stop and go, sometimes drags a bit, but still is a good read.

Strangly( i dont know why it clicked to me now as i was typing), a crude answer to the above 2 "states" was derived from this book.

For the first one.. After the birth of twins, the nurse asks the lead character Krish, " Which will be their state?" he replies " They'll be from a state called India". I hope some important people are listening(or atleast readin this book).

For the second
“Sometimes in your life you just meet someone or hear something that nudges you on the right path. And that becomes the best advice. It could just be a bit of common sense said in a way that resonates with something in you. It’s nothing new, but because it connects with you it holds meaning for you.”

hmm.. I hope something happens..

Bad Day at work and a stupid new rule

Ok.. i've had a bad day.. so this post can go from downright ranting to a lot of self introspection. If u are not interested to read, pls check out my other posts.

I just had a bad day at the office, which seems the trend of the past 2 weeks. I've been slaughtered for doing nothing out of the ordinary and by the book. now if doing by the book is wrong, at least the person on the other side can tell me what is the right way to do it? But no... they wont and they want everything to be right even if is already right and way better than they expect it to be. some one just said to me " Some people just cant handle power". I say true.. Getting the power does not mean that u slat all of ur subordinates that u dont like. First you got to understand what is wrong rater than directly thinking that the thing is wrong.

Well some people take a position of power for granted thinking that they can say anything and no one will question them. They are the only one right , they are infallible.. They will go to heaven whereas all the others can go to hell.. well for ur sake.. don't take our silence as our weak point for we are silent only by choice, once we explode u wouldn't have a thing to say. When the argument started today i had half a mind to pay back in the same coin, but what stopped me is not the position of the person any other such attribute. We have been taught to be respectful towards our elders and be thankful that i remembered it of the person might have left ashen face today. But still i ended up on the receiving end with a lot of people watching..

I dont know why i'm not the center of attention for a lot of people. Seems like i have a magnet attached to me which drags them to me and i always end up on the wrong side of a one sided debate. Guess i'm getting paid back for some bad things i did in my college, or maybe the other just dont like me and want me out(which i'll be even if they want or dont want). I just wanna get out on good terms and not be a part of any controversy while i'm leaving. So pls don't test my patience.....

Now on to something funny, but it irritated me to the core.. I heard a rumor circulating of some new rule the college had implemented.. The rule goes like this: At any time, no girl and boy should be seen roaming around together in the college, an group of equal number of girls as boys is also not advised. and some more about proportion of boys and girls allowed who can talk and etc etc etc.. I was like "The college is going down the dumps". First of all explain to me why u want to have such a rule implemented.. why not just have a boys college and a girls college. That will solve a lot of problems. Secondly, do u think its gonna do any good? What the bull***t are you gonna achieve with that? The message u are trying to spread is that you dont trust your own students. I dont know who made this rule or implemented it, but he seems like a nutter who was still alive when dinosaurs roamed the earth. Well let me ask you another simple question? Tell me any other leading college(mixed) which advocates this policy? and in this world, how successful do u think its gonna be?? and at this rate its better to call it a convent than a college... Rule makers, You decide...

It's so Confusing...

Its been a long journey from where i was a tiny tot till now.. and suddenly i find that i no longer go along with the crowd and start realizing that there are and were many things about myself that i didn't know and may not like and some that i tried to hide. and at this stage i started feeling insecure and wondering where I'll will be in a year or two, but then get scared because i just realised that i barely know where i am now. I start realizing that people are mean, selfish, arrogant, and that, maybe, those friends that i thought were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people i have ever met and i think those who i thought would be no good could have turned out to be better people, and the people i have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. But i guess most people of my age will be going through the same phase. They and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as I am. As look at my present job and it is not even close to what i thought i would be doing, or maybe I'm looking forward for another job and realizing that I'm going to have to start at the bottom and that scares me. Maybe i was just hoping against hope that the sky's open up and they let me fall into my dream job. My opinions have gotten stronger and wiser, but i have also been known to throw regular tantrums which i didn't do so regularly earlier. I see what others are doing and find myself judging and being opinionated more than usual because suddenly i realize that i have certain boundaries in life and I'm constantly adding things to the list of what is acceptable and what isn't, and what is downright nonsense. One minute, I'm insecure and then the next, secure as if i on a wave. I laugh and cry with the greatest enthusiasm. I Sometimes feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and i try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where i was are or move forward onto untraveled paths. i get heart broken and all emotional and wonder how someone i loved could do such damage to me. I lie on my bed and wonder why i can't meet anyone decent enough that i want to get to know better. Or maybe i love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why I'm doing this because i realise that i aren't such a bad person. I want to settle down for good because now all of a sudden that becomes top priority as slowly and steadily i realise that i was over depending. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. I go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with my friends about the same topics because i cannot seem to make a decision. Now the time is such that the major worries are about money, the future, settling down and making a life for myself... and its a rat race. While winning the race would be great, right now i just like to be a contender! I dont know how many of you out there can relate to this. I just know that I'm enjoying the best, even though confusing, of times and worst,even with lot of ups, of times, trying as hard as i can to figure this whole thing out.

Well i guess i have just entered the limbo that people call the "Quarter-life Crisis" :)

A Change in the Blog

This change took a long time coming. I was tired of the previous "Photoshop" template(it looked good at first, but seeing the samething over and over again made my eyes sore :P) and wanted a change. Tried many but still many of them left me dissapointed and wanting to revert back to the old one Then i found this- Chocolate brownish with a touch of chrome put up for good measure. And after a lot of tweaking and aranging i have made it to look as it looks now. Its still a work in progress but its all well as long sit looks good.Keeping widget to a minimum and making putting in a bit more easy links on the side bar.

Pls leave comments on how you like my new template.. :)

A Miracle

A miracle just happened yesterday night..

Friday evening after i got back home i was greeted by my sister with the news that the computer was not working. I just thought that it wont be a big problem and I'll be able to set it right('m so over confident sometimes). But.. It just wont start.. I tried everything i knew(even had the CPU updise down :P) but it just wont budge from its dormancy. I thought it might be the SMPS(for the not-so-nerdy: the SMPS is a small box at the back of your computer that turns AC(current) into DC) that was the trouble. Due to my very good(sarcasm) experiences with computer hardwares i left it at that thinking that it might be good for me to cut out my "Computer Addiction". for some days.. and cue 2 boring week end days.. infront of the TV(most of the time).. I think i have never spent so much time in front of theTV since my 10th standard days.. it was fun watching all that movies on Children's day including scooby doo, HP, Nim's island, home alone and all that(long list).. Yesterday night i thoght i might as well repair the system and just put on the swich and the somputer started running on its own. as if nothing had happened. i was like "W00T".. It was crazy.. it was as if the computer thought " i need a break from the torture of that ungreatful owner.. I'm going on a strike.. I won't start.. I need the rest" .. and the craziest thing is that i think it deserved the rest too :)

I watched Tum Mile yesterday and i suggst pls dont watch it in the theater.. Even if its intended as a serious movie it gives u moments of utter madness from the director which will leave u in splits for more than half of the movie(as long as u have friends with you who comment on each and every scene).. The concept was good and the acting was OK.. but the movie was not worth watching in a theater.. Reasons- Badly done graphics, could have made better use of the concept, many things could have been avoided and some scenes which could have been avoided, some were not even needed. There is one scene where the girl suggests that the boy might be cheating on her, the boy shouts at her, the girl leaves in a huff.. the next scene the girl is in a lift with a "girl"friend of her.. the other girl makes sure that the lift empties, then presses the stop button and they both HUG..(as the lift door closes) eh what?? :O .I failed to understand the whole idea of that lift scene.. Make your own inferences on what the scene meant :P

Finally a FB prediction came true - FB Magic Cookie said that 'll be meeting a special friend of mine(on my travels).. Jyothi(one of my good ol friends/sister) landed from Mumbai from a Moot Parliment in the city.. She had come home and it was good to recollect all those good days.. Thank you sis.. :)

My Time Draws Near...

Three of my friends are gonna join Infosys this weekend(mera number kab aayega!!).. I wish i could meet them before they go. I did call them too but sadly it seems that i have kept it too late and they are all busy with the end rush ie packing, shopping, meeting relatives, making sure all necessary documents are there etc etc..

I guess some day i will also be walking into the gates of Infosys. But before i go i know have a huge group of frinds to satisfy. 3 months doesnt seems to be far away so i guess i'll have to get into the act soon(and also pray that infosys does call me). Lot of debts to clear, lot of things to set in order, lot of people to see, and probably take a small trip with some of my closest friends.. and if possible make a trip to Mumbai if possible so that i can get in touch with my friends there..

Some of them(my close pals) have been asking me if i would miss Toc H Institute of Science and Technology(my contract here nears expiry). We'll of course i would, isnt that obvious..But if it were a film then Toc H forms a backdrop for all that, i would miss the characters of the movie more, the plots and the sub plots of the movie, the action, the drama.. The backdrop could have changed but i'm doubtful if i'll get the same characters elsewhere..

Hopefully i could do every little thing i want to do in the coming 3 months.. If any of u have plans pls let me know.. :)

Setting My Things in Order

Well now that 'm free and nothing to kep me too occupied i've been stting my things in order.. thing which i let take a back stage while i was too pre occupied with other things..

One of the things 'm setting in order is my reading habit.. earlier i used to george up books and then it turned up to be a measly 2-3 books per month.. now 'm setting it back on track and guess soon 'll be back to my old form.. ie 3 books per week :P

blogging.. well it has started picking up and i hope the trend does continue cos i usually have a lot of things to share about but mostly 'm eith lazy, pre occupied, or.. just plain and simple.. cant find words.. Now 'm back and guess have put up some good posts in the last week or so.. that mostly attributed to the fact that i have to stay back in college till 7 P.M(the college closes at 4.. but i've been assigned to take care of a lab so that students can use it till 7) on 2 days per week.. have been using the time to get my creative self out..

My research project .. well the less i talk about that the betterit will be cos even i dont know where 'm.. all i know is that if i get a confirmation from my "Boss"(Dean) then i can finish it off in a week.. but till i get that i'm keeping my fingers crossed and in between that wrestling with the college computer network..

Passport.. This is something i have been postponing for a long time.. finally a week ago i registed online for the application and was given a date.. 2 days ago i went to the apssport office.. completed the formalities.. i hope they come for inspection soon.. i need my passport pronto as its one of the main things that i should carry when i join Infosys.. and if i get the passport i guess i fulfill all my id proofs.. i currently have a Driving liscence, Voter's ID, all my necessary marklists.. have i missed something out??

Talking of Infosys.. for anyone who has forgotten i'm joining on 8th of Feb.. thats a good 3 months(almost) from today.. Need to brush up the concepts and hope i'm in good shape before that :)

Some more things are pending like the NSR registration(another thing i need to do before i join Infosys), Cleaning up and decorating the interiors of my car, Cleaning up my computer and my table.. its lying cluttered for so long now, Get back to working out('m putting on weight, need to cut out the fat), Showing up at my Denstist's place( have a long postponed appointment) and maybe take a vacation with friends.. ;)

Its better no one asks me about my CAT preparation.. i've been doing bits and pieces.. but nothing concrete.. i hope i can put in some serious works.. As of now mom says " You have wasted that money".. ;).. The exam is on 28th November :D

Something's Missing...

I'm not busy.. I am not confused..
I dont have a 1001 things running in my mind.. not anymore...
I haven't been this free and happy in ages...

Yet I feel like there is something missing somewhere...
Like I had to do something.. But I cant remember what..
I feel like I have swayed from my actual purpose...
the funny part being I have no clue what my actual purpose was..
Nothing stops the constant buzzing in my head..
And the buzzers keep blowing off like an alarm at the end of each day screaming
that I've wasted another day doing something that I don't really believe in..

Ane people around me tell me that i'm gonna be a big shot,
expecting to change the world...
And what angers me most is that even though i want to counter and say i'm not,
I have no arguments to defend my stand!!!