A New Start

A New Year. A New Start. and a new post in my blog..
But before I get going into the new year I am wondering what I felt about the year that just passed. A lot of things happened(of course). But what would sum it up is, I've survived, I've lived, I've learnt, I've cared, I've loved, felt loved. Wondered till I was made to realize I didn't need to. Stared in the dark waiting for the first rays of sunlight. Learnt some lessons which i hope to remember. Lived and learnt, in my head and my heart. Still learning, always figuring it out new ways and means. Never knew what was right, probably because nothing is.

So yes, it's been an interesting year. A year which could have either been start all or end all.

I can't word it very well at the moment, but, I've met a lot of new people this year. To these people i saw thanks for you are the ones who've loved me, forgave me, surprised me, uplifted me, encouraged me. I even love some of you people who've made me feel like crap (for no fault of my own) and need to be clonked over the head, for you made me a better person.

Thank you. This is very heartfelt.

What I want for myself from next year is to screw up less. With myself and with other people. Be wiser. Face up for whatever I do. Never be in doubt. And make use of the constant reminder I've given myself now.

Looking Back

Here I'm now,

Looking back at life..

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when I didn't know the difference between

good or evil; truth or lie,

without a care in the world,

smiling at everyone, whoever passed by..

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I played with sand, made my castle,

and cried when somebody broke it,

and someone was there to console me,

always motivating me to build the castle again..

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Here I'm now,

Looking back at life..

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when a small candy was the biggest gift,

and a toy was like a best thing..

and the fights with friends lasted for five minutes,

what is ego? I didn't know..

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When ambitions in life changed every second,

from doctor, to astronaut and engineer.

and When I didn't need a reason to laugh,

One smile solved every problem.

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Today things are the same, but i've changed,

I don't laugh without a reason,

Nor do i have multiple ambitions,

I no more make castles, nor long for candies.

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But I still have the power,

The power to love unconditionally,

and live the life that of a kid,

and I've the power to rebuild my castle,

the sand is the same, the motivation is still there..

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Here I'm,

Looking forward to my life...

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Dreams

Sometimes I glide down the hills..

Sometimes I balance on the plane wings..

Sometimes I am at heights…

Sometimes walking alone in the dark nights..

Sometimes they make you oversleep..

While Sometimes they run you out of sleep..

Maybe gloomy, maybe enigmatic they are!

Some fresh, some repetition they are!

Dreams! Dreams! Dreams!

What do they tell us ?

Is there a message for us ?

Or just a fantasy to hook us !

A game of our brain, Or the fear of our mind ?

Oh this quest! My mind undergoes the grill..

Without looking for , I think, I should just enjoy the thrill!

Darkness before the Light

It's been ages.. ages.. since I have written anything. Life has been so overwhelming that all my senses just shutdown for sometime. The last one month has been one THE best i've had.. The months before that were the darkest and the gloomiest. It resonates the feeling of darkness before the light. I was not committed to anything but one thing that always gets my full attention and kept me going are books. All those days of being lost in the imaginary world that the books engulfed the reader. Threading through an unknown land, running across the world to solve a mystery, the feelings of a lover. Totally lost to the world. A passion which i thought was dampened was given a spark again and to those books i owe my sanity.

Then suddenly a month ago i was given another chance. A new life, a new place and new people and i'm absolutely loving it. I'm a different person now, probably a better person. I had always decided to let go but kept a plan B, a life-raft, something to cling on and maybe that was my problem. This time as I had nothing to lose and everything to gain and I just let go. And what an experience. ITS JUST AMAZING. I feel so light inside. Nothing affects me these days and i think i've found my smile back. No more falsettos, no more fake smiles and definitely no more a brooding frame of mind. My calm is permanent. Love, joy and peace are my new keywords. I have realised the meaning of grace and am basking in it. :)

All i can say is that the year 2010 was not that good to me. But I'm still here. :) A bit wiser, a bit stronger and lot more happier :)
(this post was written on 2010 2010)

Congrats Espana

The curtains finally came down on the biggest sports carnival in the Rainbow Nation. Spain claimed leaving the Oranje heartbroken, who had surprised everyone(not me though) by reaching the finals. The world cup lived up to its billing but not the big stars. But in their place rose few others who stood up on the occasion and delivered and the world unearthed a new group of talented youngsters. Congrats Spain.

But...
Oranje Forever :)

Waiting for the time India would make its FIFA World Cup bow..

Believe

The road beckons, calls you to play.
The sun shines with all its might.
Says you can be free right away,
How long will you hide in the night.

Keep your head up, forget the rain,
The cloud cover will be gone soon.
In the end, there would be a lot to gain,
And you would be over the moon.

The Pages Turn..

You never know how the pages turn,
You wonder how goes,
All the things that we hold dear,
Don't stay on for years

The pain comes and goes
Numbness fills the gaps
All in all its heaven sent
Just a dream lived on

The tears that flow out
stop when a smile arrives
Nothing stays the same forever
Nothing stays defined.

This is how the pages turn
in the book of life
Everything goes round and round
this is how time flies...

The Infy Chapter

A dream dashed.. Expectations crumbled.. Future in question.. and a lot more negatives.. End of the Chapter in Infosys..

For those who don't know yet I'm not a part of the great Infy family anymore. And for the most part of my stay there there was something inside which always asked "Do i actually belong here?". But in order to prove myself wrong i did try hard and for most part i was succeeding(if exams were taken out of the equation). But then disaster struck and i was asked to pack my stuff and move out. The dream ends.. End of Chapter..

There were quiet a few things i would miss from my days in Infy. Listed below in no particular order-

• The Campus - I challenge anyone to find a better campus anywhere.
• New friends - i have this habit of making friends everywhere i go and infy was no expecption. Some of them were so awesome that they understood me better than i did.. not naming anyone for the fear of missing out on some.. Thank you ppl.. u really made worthwhile for me..
• My own college friends - Can be said that Infy was one place where i understood my college friends better
• The badminton court - even with a broken ligament i played 12 games on an avg each day. It reignited the interest of badminton with me after 6 years. I hadn't played after my 10th.
  
• The gym - Used to wake up early every morning to visit this place. and i did lose quiet an amount of weight and put on some muscle.
• The routine - even though i didn't like the routine much it would be something i would remember.
  
• Gazebo - late night hangouts, birthday parties, gossip and what not.. This was the perfect place for almost everything in infy.. :)
• Foodcourts - Midnight parties and the place where all the fun is.
• GEC - the list is never complete without the mention of GEC.. that is where u study.. but mostly its where u do everything.. study, sleep, chat, do assignments, play pranks, chatting on email while the class is in progress..
• My room.. my tidily arranged room which u can say would be picture perfect in a 3 star hotel.. with a lcd tv and a comfortable bed.. :(
• Did i miss out anything?? if i did i'll add it when my memory pops it up :)
  

But as my friend said "the world outside is bigger than this 337 acres". and i had to agree with him. The campus being so big it was like a city out of a city. You get everything there that u gradually forget that the world outside the campus still exists. But all that is past now..

Now looking forward for a new challenge.. and that is in the form of TCS.. and guess i'll Experience Certainty..