India Needs Feminism

A lot of talk has been going on about feminism in recent days. Some of it fuelled by the photos which are uploaded by Rega Jha which are a part of #IndiaNeedsFeminism (insert link).

But what is feminism? Everyone keep branding the word around without an idea what it actually means. I overheard a random conversation wherein, seeing the photos, a guy asks what is feminism. The girl in the group replies as “Women being more powerful.. like bosses……” and I’m appalled. Really? That’s what you understand from feminism? That is as wide off the mark a definition as I’ve ever heard. A Google search gives the meaning as “the advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.” That word equality. That’s what it is. That’s the whole crux of it and at no point there is ever a mention of female domination.  Feminism isn't about "one sex over the other", it's about equal rights for men and women.

Coming back to the Photos. India Needs Feminism, big time. India Needs Feminism because women would like to and should do whatever they like without having their motives questioned. India needs feminism because not everyone wants to be pictured/pencilled in like a character in some Ekta Kapoor serial. India needs feminism because culture should be followed, but not imposed. India Needs Feminism because women of this country should never feel inferior. India needs feminism because no one should ever say “Boys will be boys” and get away with it. It’s high time and people need to realize that this is the 21^st century and Women can be held back no longer.

Sadya(Kerala banquet) For Dummies

**Please take the content below with a pinch of humor and dont complain about the taste later**

I know a Sadya looks all delicious(well not always) to anyone from Kerala. But thinking from the perspective of a outsider it would be a delicious nightmare. The poor soul would be confused where to start and where to end.To all those, Fear not merry-men. Here comes the solution which if followed step by step you can master the art of eating at Sadya.

First we need a scenario. Vishu is around the corner and would make a good example. But it comes once in a while and it wouldn't suit the this step by step guide. So I would go for take an occasion which happens more often. **trumpets blare*** Marriages **Drum roll**.

So lets put our hands into it?? ok.. If you look down at the fully served banana leaf in front of you you would find an array of dishes neatly(most times not) arranged. At this time ask yourself if you care about the taste of what you are gonna eat, if not dig in, don't cast an eye on this guide and just enjoy. . But if you do, then follow the guide.


1- Take in the scene before you. Those neatly arranged variety of dishes. Most of which you haven't eaten ever and then don't even what they are called. Don't worry. Try taking it one by one. Start with the chips which will probably kept in the left top corner of the leaf.

2- You might have noticed that there is a huge amount of space in the center of the leaf. If you haven't figured it out yet, then its for the rice which will be served. Look around and see if anyone is serving that in the row you are currently sitting. If yes, wait. Or else continue with step 1.

3- Look around again and you probably would see someone come with a bucket of rice. wait for them to serve. When they are serving no use telling them how much rice you intend to have in your plate(read leaf). If you want to do that then better carry an extra stomach. Just go with the flow and the server might spare you.

4- Rice served(rather dumped)? if yes.. stop admiring the rice and get to work. Start by making a hole in the center of the dump.. eh rice. Make sure that the hole is a perfect circle with a radius of 2 centimeters. Be specific so that you don't have to suffer later.

5- Look around again. You might find someone serving a yellow concoction. Don't worry its just the dal. Remove your hands from the leaf if you don't want to be jumping around in your seat. If you make the hole(from step4), good for you. The server will know what to do with the dal. If not you and the clothes you are wearing are in big trouble. After this step you will either get a puddle that would be picture perfect on Kerala roads or a gigantic river flowing down that green plain into a abyss.

6- God speed now. Tuck in(if you are wearing something full sleeved make sure you have pulled the sleeves back). Don't bother about your hands. They will be fine. Mix the dal and the rice and add with any of the multitude of dishes in front of you and put it in your mouth. Delicious ain't it? keep doing it

7- You will find a guy walking towards you saying "chor, chor, chor". Don't run. He is just serving rice. You probably wouldn't have finished with the rice in you plate. Don't worry. Just move it to one side of your plate and the server will know what to do. After the dumping, repeat step 4. Now that's for "Sambar" which has, out of your eyesight, closely followed the "Chor". Remember the latter part of step 5? Good..

8- Now the race starts. Don't look left or right. Don't stop and admire the girl/boy sitting opposite you. Don't listen to what the uncles/aunties next to you are discussing. This is one race where you start with the odds stacked against you(if you haven't mastered the art yet). Complete concentration on the area marked by green in front of you. Jet, Set, Go. Step 6 again. Remember it like this Sambar rice + any of the side dishes(+ Occasionally bits of Padapadam(if you haven't finished it yet)) -> to your mouth. Done? don't stop.. Carry on. Go Go Go.....

8.1- There are chances that you might have to repeat step 7 for Rasam/Curd. Its your call if you want to go down that alley or not. Note: You can get Rasam in a paper glass too. Find one.
 

9- If you hear the sound "payasam" with rice still remaining on your leaf, then understand that you have lost the race. Move the remaining sambar+rice to one side of the plate (remember that you had moved the dal+rice to one side earlier, its advisable to move the sambar+rice to the opposite side). Now you again have space in the center of the plate... and splosh..down comes the payasam. Eat it fast. There are more payasams to come(the more affluent the family the more the number of payasam). If you have finished the first round of payasam, then good. Otherwise don't fret. Let the server pour it onto your plate. It will mix, definitely. But it will probably all taste the same. Repeat this for all rounds of payasam. If you can lay your hands on a Padadom, mix it with the payasam for that addition kick.

Or
There is a work around. Get inside information about how many "Payasams" are there and make sure you get that many paper cups in front of you. Figure it out yourself on how to get the cups(dont steal from thy neighbor). When the server comes point to the cup and he'll get the idea. Saves you the trouble of moving your beloved sambar+rice.

10- So happy. Finished with the delicious payasams? Full right? But aren't you forgetting something? think? something you moved? remember.. Yes dhakkan.. I'm talking about the rice you moved. Who will eat those? your chacha? Its bad manners to waste food. Sit down. Now mix the sambar+rice and the dal+rice. And then add whatever else you have left on your plate. And start eating. Don't worry about your stomach. It will be fine, bearing in mind what it has gone through today. This wont make a dent.
Or

Got a work around for this too if you don't give 2 hoots about manners. Look around. see if anyone is spying on you. If not move whatever is left to the lower plane of the plate. Look left and right and then left again and cheekily fold the plate so that if covers whatever you want to hide. Slid out of your seat slowly so as not to draw attention.

11- If you haven't used the work around, then you need this step. Look down on your plate and its probably looking like some Rangoli which has been blown away by the wind. All colourful ain't it? Stop admiring your handiwork and fold the plate(leaf) and don't forget to take the banana(if you haven't eaten it yet). That will save you 5 rupees in the market. You deserve it, after all that you have been through today.

12- You have finished the Sadya. Try standing up and you might feel that you need to loosen your belt one notch. Wait. Don't be in a hurry. Slowly follow the crowd who are leaving their seats, triumphantly. They will take you to the nearest wash basin. Wash your hands. Slowly walk to a lonely corner and let out that BURP that you have been holding back till now.

There you go. It will take bit of a practice. But if you have read this you are ready to give the delicious Sadya a shot. 

** Disclaimer: Don't get me wrong. I just love a Sadya.. :)**